What they don't tell you.

No book, nor person, nor website, nor pamphlet...tell you about the worry that comes along with pregnancy! lol

Never mind the worry about trying to get pregnant, I mean the worry that starts soon after you get that positive test.

First, it's the worry about miscarriage. And the worry that there will be a heart beat at the first appointment Worry that I have the right symptoms. Worry that I am eating right, exercising enough but not too much, gaining weight but not too much or that the weight I lost is ok.

Now I'm exaggerating a little bit. All these worries have crossed my mind at least once, but I think I've done ok at keeping it in check and not over analyzing things.

Brian did tell me a few weeks ago...this is only the start of the worry, we'll have it the rest of our lives. I took it to heart, but the impact was minimal.

Then it hit me that we chose to have the non invasive prenatal test (NIPT), which will report the risk for some of the major genetic disorders, including Down Syndrome. 

I was so excited to announce our pregnancy to our wider group of friends and family. But I kept thinking about getting these results...like they are coming and they will have data in them that could inform next steps. And create even more worry or not! I mean holy cow...just because I am pregnant, doesn't not mean that things are 100%. (and btw, we are now waiting for the results before posting a social media announcement)

Now the other side of me says that I have had a very non-eventful pregnancy so far, and that our higher power would not have either of us wait this long to have biological kids, and then pack it full of insurmountable obstacles. So I do feel 95% sure things will be fine. But I can't deny the little voice in the back saying...what if?

The results of the NIPT will be available later this week or early next week. They'll mail the results to the house if things are ok, or they'll call if there's something to discuss.

The reality is sinking in, and certainly having an impact that this truly is just the beginning of a life time of worry. But also a life time of the biggest joys ever. I may have not been warned...but we're ready!!!